Grieving in the Lord's Arms
Posted by Holly Nelson on Monday, June 14, 2010
Under: Just Because I said....
On May 20, 2010 my cousin Brandon Paudert was shot and killed during a traffic stop. He was only doing is job as a West Memphis police officer running drug interdiction. This was a tragic event in our lives. We have never had anyone get killed in our family before. I wasn't sure how to handle it. Only the Lord held us and helped us through it. Exactly two weeks later, as I was still grieving and crying everyday, all day over the loss of Brandon, our grandfather was killed in a car accident. He was the father of my Aunt who just lost her son in the West Memphis Police shooting. My grandfather lived to be 90 years old. We were so heartbroken to have lost him this way. The day before we lost PaPa it would have been Brandon's 40th birthday. A friend knew how I was still deeply grieving. She sent me this poem to comfort me. The next day when I was told about my grandfathers death, my mind went to this poem.......
"I am standing on the sea shore,
A ship sails in the morning breeze and starts for the ocean.
She is an object of beauty and I stand watching her
Till at last she fades on the horizon and someone at my side says:
"She is gone."
Gone! Where?
Gone from my sight - that is all.
She is just as large in the masts, hull and spars as she was when I saw her
And just as able to bear her load of living freight to its destination.
The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me,
not in her.
And just at the moment when someone at my side says,
"She is gone",
There are others who are watching her coming, and other voices take up a glad shout:
"There she comes"
- and that is dying. A horizon and just the limit of our sight.
Lift us up, Oh Lord, that we may see further. "
Bishop Brent
A ship sails in the morning breeze and starts for the ocean.
She is an object of beauty and I stand watching her
Till at last she fades on the horizon and someone at my side says:
"She is gone."
Gone! Where?
Gone from my sight - that is all.
She is just as large in the masts, hull and spars as she was when I saw her
And just as able to bear her load of living freight to its destination.
The diminished size and total loss of sight is in me,
not in her.
And just at the moment when someone at my side says,
"She is gone",
There are others who are watching her coming, and other voices take up a glad shout:
"There she comes"
- and that is dying. A horizon and just the limit of our sight.
Lift us up, Oh Lord, that we may see further. "
Bishop Brent
Thank You, Holly Irving!
When I thought about how tragic my grandfather died I also thought about how Brandon was the one who said, "HERE HE COMES! HERE HE COMES!", when our PaPa entered heaven. God may allow tragic things to happen in our lives. But, always remember~ God is Good ALL the time! I have felt his comfort and I know His plans are bigger than mine. I will not lie and say that I am doing fine. I'm not. I feel great pain in these losses. I still cry even more everyday. That is just the grieving process and I know it will get better. My trust is in the Lord and I have faith that "All things work together for good, for those who love HIM" (Romans 8:28) ~ Blessing, Holly Nelson
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"Let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible beauty of a quiet and gentle sprirt, which is precious in the sight of God."
1 Peter 3:4 -
"An excellent wife,who can find? Her worth is far above jewels." Proverbs 31:10 ~~
I am a stay-at-home-mom(SAHM) married to the love of my life, Jeff Nelson. We have six wonderful boys. Ryan(13), Seth(11), Ian(8), Noah(5), Luke(4), and Jack (born April 2010). We live in Tennessee on 4 acres. I grew up the first few years of my life on a dairy farm in Missouri and loved country living. I was saved at a young age by the grace of God and shed blood of Jesus during that time of simple country living. That part of my life is very dear to me. God taught me many things as a baby Christian that I can still think about today. Then we moved to Memphis when I was in the 5th grade. I learned to love the city life, too. It was a completely different way of life. My whole family still lives in Missouri, still does a little farming and simple country living. When Jeff, the kids, and I moved from the city to the country, I incorporated my city life with my country background. My mom laughs at me when I cut my grass on my John Deere tractor while drinking my Starbucks Mocha and wearing my fancy sunglasses. And when I am shampooing my carpet in my high-heeled black boots. I just love those boots! But I would love to share about how I got to be the way I am today, The Victoriously Organized Woman! I used to work as a supervisor at bank for years. I had to dress up everyday. After the birth of our second child we decide I should be a SAHM. One of the best decision I've ever made. But I made a bad decision, too. I hardly ever dressed up anymore. I hardly ever wore make-up. After about a year I looked in the mirror and said, "OH MY! Jeff has to come home to this!?!" He is so wonderful he said he liked me that way, "natural". Well , I realized that I didn't. It made me feel bad about myself. I felt disorganized, tired and stressed and a little "rough" looking. I felt I just couldn't get it all done. At this time I was diagnosed with Meniere's Disease. I wasn't able to do certains things. Like mop the floor of my completely hardwood floor home that I was obsessed about keeping clean. The doctor told me I couldn't have salt, caffeine, or stress! "What?! Are you kidding!?" So , then I decided to change my routine,thought pattern, and cooking. I began to get up early, shower and dress, put on make up. Always being ready to leave whenever I needed to. I established routines that helped me eliminate extra cleaning and stresses. I was able to make more time for myself and make more time for my family. And the family had more time for each other. I made more time for God and others. This made me feel better about myself. I am so happy about how this changed my life I want to share it with everyone.
